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Something in life is preventing you from having a meaningful, genuine, and fulfilling relationship with yourself and others. No matter what you are going through, even if it seems hard now to get through a difficult situation, there is always hope for transformation.
Using a holistic, systemic, and interactive counselling approach, tailored to your personal needs, I can support you in navigating the challenges and suffering that life brings. I will guide you in regaining and reclaiming your balance, self-worth, and well-being.
My goal is to provide a safe space where you feel supported to untangle your issues and live your life to the fullest.
A small mistake makes you feel inadequate, and you hear your inner critic repeating the same old thing in your head over and over again: “I cannot believe how stupid you are … You are a complete failure “.
Spiralling into negative thoughts, feeling worthless, angry, or disappointed are just some of the signs that you are suffering from a self-esteem collapse.
You avoid sharing your struggles with others, because it feels much safer to figure things out on your own, almost as if dealing with your self-criticism and self-isolation is less complicated than dealing with other people.
Learn to speak to yourself with kindness and develop strategies to keep that inner-critic monster in place.
Stop ruminating on your weaknesses and start caring for yourself instead. Mindfulness practice can help you cope with life challenges with more ease and resilience. Allowing positive thoughts to outweigh the negative ones will make you feel emotionally lighter and grounded.
“How would you treat a friend?”
Exercise courtesy of Dr. K. Neff, Self Compassion Exercises
Exercise Guidance:
You find yourself worrying about “what ifs”, ruminating on pointless thoughts, but your anxiety feels manageable. You certainly don’t think it affects your relationship. Until you realise there must be something wrong again.
Initially, your partners are perfect charmers with big ideas. Eventually, they begin to disappear for days and become emotionally unavailable and distant when you need them the most. Just as you start getting over them, they come back sneaking into your life as if nothing happened.
Gain awareness of your attachment style to work through unhealthy relationship patterns.
Understand how your attachment shapes and influences your relationships, and make sense of your own behaviour, how you perceive others, and how you respond to them. Identifying these patterns can help you recognize what you need in a relationship and overcome unhealthy attachments.
Attachment Theory is a way of understanding the emotional security and psychological well-being of a child or adult.
There are 4 main attachment styles: secure, avoidant, anxious and disorganised.
People with this attachment style tend to be comfortable with being vulnerable, expressing their feelings, and supporting loved ones as needed.
They understand their needs, including boundaries, and feel sure and secure in a relationship.
This experience generally translates to the expectation “When I’m distressed, I can call someone for help. People are there when I need them, and they come back to me.”
People with this attachment style tend to minimise their vulnerability around or reliance on other people. They are likely to stay quiet instead of going to a partner or friend to discuss problems in their relationship.
As an adult, this may translate to an internal dialogue such as: “No one is there for me. I must learn to count on myself.” and perhaps also, “It’s better to cut off my emotions because emotion can hurt.”
Adults with an avoidant attachment style have been described as ’emotionally unavailable’, ’emotionally absent’, cold, indifferent or having no feelings. They do have feelings but are unable to express them.
People with this attachment style tend to worry that a loved one will ignore or leave them at any time. They likely have a negative self-view but put others on a pedestal.
They seek attention from the people they care about while feeling anxious at even the thought of being apart from their partner.
As adults, their thoughts might run along the lines of: “Someone will leave me. I will be left, abandoned or rejected. I’m not that special.” On the surface, adults with anxious attachment style may come across as clingy, needy or overly emotional.
This overview serves as an opportunity to explore the initial bonds with your primary caregiver. Research showed that non-secure attachments account for around 40% of the population. Far from being a small fringe this means that a great many people that meet, date and fall in love with will have some insecurity in their attachment style. Understanding the impacts of these styles is critical to successful relationships for and with these people.
Have you ever felt like you were being taken advantage of? Can you recognize yourself in the following situations?
Set healthy boundaries and protect yourself from aggressive or needy people. Discover which area of your life can benefit first by setting concrete limits, rather than compromising your personal values just to please others. It might take time, but it is possible to stay truthful to yourself, and say NO.
Many people refer to the space that one needs to feel comfortable between themselves and others, as their “space bubble.” It is generally accepted that we have a smaller “space bubble” with family and close friends than we do with acquaintances, and strangers.
Take your time and decide if you want to expand or reduce your space.
If it feels ok for you, look at the space and tell yourself inwardly: ‘This is me, look! I am showing myself.’
‘This is my space. I don’t want you to come into this space unless I invite you or allow you to do so.’
Personal space boundaries (space bubbles) can vary widely from person to person. They can depend on various factors, including how well you know the other person, your relationship with them (whether you like or dislike them), and how much you trust them.
Learn to recognize your personal space in various situations and how to advocate for yourself if someone intrudes on it.
Do you feel like your relationships are built on an uneven power dynamic? You may feel ashamed and guilty because a parent has alcohol problems; or insecure because your spouse is manipulative and always puts their needs first; or anxious at work, because your boss just told you it is your fault that the project you have been working on for months has failed.
As a result, you continue covering for a parent’s drinking problems, you cannot believe your spouse turned from a charmer to a narcissist, and you don’t even try to confront your boss.
You can rebuild trust and foster healthier connections by understanding the signs of codependency and setting healthy boundaries.
Hope lies in learning more about it. The more you understand about the course and cycle of dependency and codependency, the better you can cope with its effects.
I can support you in recovering from your emotional pain and regaining freedom, love, and serenity in your life.
TRUST
Gaining and honoring your trust is my highest priority, which is why my counselling services are always confidential and customized to your specific needs.
COLLABORATION
I foster caring, empathetic, and non-judgmental relationships with my clients, creating a supportive and inclusive atmosphere.
EXPERTISE
I embrace the latest research and best practices, delivering high-quality, body-centered holistic counseling to facilitate transformative change.
HOPE
I am here to help you live your best life. Whatever challenges you or your family may be facing, there is always hope.
Please fill out the form below and I will be in touch shortly to schedule your phone consult.
Bitte fülle das untenstehende Formular aus, und ich werde mich so schnell wie möglich bei dir melden, um einen Termin für das telefonische Beratungsgespräch zu vereinbaren.